if you took a shot for every godspeed you! black emperor reference in here you'd have... idk how many shots. i'm still counting
[...] flannel jacket and pleated skirt, she looks as tired as a machine can be, but her tone is soft and undulating. I apologise for wasting her time and she laughs.
Mirage: Don’t worry about it. I’m just surprised everything that happened, y’know, happened.
I hope it’s not creepy of me to say that I’ve been a longtime fan. Followed you even before Dream Now, Without Dread blew up. I can’t help but notice that it’s a huge departure from your previous style. What prompted you to make that change?
Mirage: …Hm.
It’s hard to point to anything precise, to be honest. I was definitely unhappy with my old stuff—no, that’s not the word—just, it wasn’t the kind of music I really wanted to make. It wasn’t going hard enough for me, and I’m a huge fan of music that makes your head explode. Like, powerviolence? Is that what it’s called?
I guess I just stopped holding back. It was a challenge for sure, but yeah. I’m glad it turned out the way that it did.
It’s an unorthodox style for sure. Right, moving on. This is the first album you’ve uploaded under the band The Cables Hum Heresy instead of as a solo artist. Could you give some background on the formation of your group?
Mirage: I’ve never been a solo artist. These guys have been with me since I was in high school. The guitars you hear, the drums—it’s all them. I was only putting the pieces together.
Compliments to your organist. The performance of those parts stand out in their excellence.
Mirage: Yeah, him. He’s new, but he’s so good. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to record live with him but he fought tooth and nail to continue playing with us. I wasn’t planning on adding him as a permanent member initially but we would be all the poorer without him.
He also suggested we change the Heresy in the band name to Blasphemy. For maximum theological accuracy, but it was too late by that point.
You mentioned in your track description that this album was extremely emotional for you. Was there any event in your life that inspired it, or…
Mirage: This treads dangerously close to my privacy, Miss.
…But I’ll tell you as much as I can.
College hasn’t been easy on any of us. You’ve heard enough about my finding my identity as an artist. I guess the hardest thing for all of us to do was to leave behind the image of us we had in our minds for years now. Failure or otherwise, stepping stones to our lives never define our identity.
I hope that makes sense.
I think we all stopped being scared somewhere along the way. Raise a glass to us!
Will you ever consider performing live?
Mirage: Nah.
…OK, well, maybe, but we need two more guitarists. I’m just not particularly interested in live performances at this stage.
Right, moving on. Is there any way fans can support you financially or otherwise? Like a Bandtent page, or—
Mirage: Oh yeah. I keep forgetting to do that. Been doing this for free like an idiot. Yeah, the page will be up eventually.
Maybe.
~~~
Gabriel steps into the library, a small drawstring pouch clutched in his hand. Minos, seated at the reception desk, looks up from his book.
‘Please refrain from making unnecessary noise,’ he says, firm.
Gabriel glances over his shoulder. Clustered around the nearest desk is a group of husks, sightless eyes turned to him, books open in front of them.
Dismissing the obvious question, Gabriel turns to Minos, bending down to try and close the distance.
‘Take this.’ He tries to whisper, but Minos flinches and moves away. ‘Apologies.’
He hands Minos the drawstring pouch. Minos eyes the pouch.
‘If thou wishest to buy my goodwill, then I am afraid—’
‘No, please listen.’ Gabriel looks over his shoulder again. The Husks are listening intently, each doing a terrible job to hide it. The nearest Stray holds a book upside-down in front of its eyes, and the Stalker next to it pretends to be examining its bag of sand with increasing interest.
Trying his best to ignore them, Gabriel faces Minos once more.
‘I know I will never earn your forgiveness. But I must ask you to let me reduce the harm I have caused.’
Lightning-quick, Minos swipes the pouch out of Gabriel’s hand. He opens it and extracts a stack of bills, rifling through them quickly. Gabriel moves to shield the view from the Husks.
‘This is… a lot.’ Minos drops the money back into the pouch. ‘Thy method of obtaining this… it was legal, yes? I do not need a reason to be prosecuted a second time.’
‘It should be safe. I sold my belongings back home to fetch this price. It is hard to draw legal loopholes when it comes to personal property.’
Minos nods, satisfied. ‘Very well.’
He goes back to his book, flipping through to find the bookmarked page. Gabriel stands where he is, unsure what to do, torn between wanting to tell Minos to hurry up and get the pouch out of sight and wanting to bolt out of the room and never look back.
‘It is more than necessary,’ says Minos, not looking at him. ‘The property prices in this region are far lower than what thou art used to.’
‘You can buy a second house. You did mention that there are a lot more people out on the streets than you thought.’
Gabriel realises his mistake too late. Minos adjusts his glasses and snaps the book shut, still not looking at him.
‘Whoever told thee—Mirage, was it? … Ah, she meant no harm. I will still need to have a word with her…’
Muttering to himself, Minos reaches for his phone.
He should say something. Anything, to fill this wretched silence.
‘Feel free to reach out to me if you need more assistance,’ says Gabriel. God, he sounds way too loud in this space.
Minos stops mid-action. Gabriel feels pinned by that fathomless abyss of a face, unreadable as ever.
‘I know others who offer more value in that department than thee.’ Minos finally pockets the pouch. ‘Nevertheless, my gratitude upon thee.’
He inclined his head in Gabriel’s direction and goes back to his book. Gabriel breathes a sigh of relief but before he can move, Minos coughs.
‘Never, in all my years of life, had I thought that I would see thee rebelling against the Council. Such a drastic change that machine has wrought upon thee.’
He turns a page. ‘But most of the credit I must attribute to thee.’
‘Thank you,’ says Gabriel, unsure of what else to say.
‘Sisyphus tells me thou seekest to redeem thyself through combat as well. I must warn thee, although thou art sincere in thy apology, he will not show thee mercy.’
Gabriel rustles his wings. He wants to say that he will win, that he expects his renewed strength to not fail him, but he does not want to tamper with this small shred of goodwill Minos has just handed him.
Minos gestures vaguely in his direction. ‘Take thy rest. Thou will require it soon.’
~~~
‘Improvisation? I don’t know how to explain it…’
‘There must be some kind of order to it.’
‘That’s the best part.’ V2 slides into his line of sight, sprawled on the raised dais, guitar in her arms. ‘It doesn’t.’
Gabriel rests his hands on the keys. ‘It makes no sense. How do you know where to begin, if so?’
V1 snaps its fingers to get his attention.
‘You just say fuck it and ball.’
Mirage is deep in thought, hand propping up her faceplate. ‘You know what,’ she says finally, ‘V2, give him some chords.’
V2 obeys, deft fingers picking through the strings, and Gabriel is left standing there like an idiot as all musical knowledge in his brain is reduced to a mess of buzzing thoughts.
V1 twirls its drumsticks.
‘Try humming,’ Mirage whispers to Gabriel.
And he does. Spurred on by the response, V2 picks up the pace, sitting up straight and bobbing her head to the beat. V1 adds a lazy tapping rhythm on its cymbals, looking relaxed.
‘Vocals, vocals,’ Mirage is muttering to herself. ‘Maybe I’ll try those next time.’
And that snaps Gabriel out of his current state. ‘No way.’
‘You’ve already done spoken vocals,’ says Mirage. ‘What makes it different if it’s sung?’
‘I can’t sing right now.’
V2 pipes up, ‘I’m calling bullshit. What self-respecting angel has never sung a hymn before?’
‘I have, I just… do not wish to. Not yet.’
‘Damn it.’ V2 runs a hand up her guitar neck. ‘I’m sorry.’
V1 is looking at him like a hawk. He turns to it, waiting for it to say something, but it starts adjusting the screws on its snare drum. Strange that he should be playing its role now. It’s always been more direct than this.
Mirage sighs and sits down in a pew, elbows resting on the back of the seat. ‘We should do this more often. Just… a stream of consciousness, but for sound. Free-flowing. No destination, nothing waiting for us. Present.’
‘You won’t be satisfied with that,’ points out V2. ‘You like having something to chase.’
Mirage nods. ‘That’s true.’
Gabriel approaches V1 from the side, tapping the machine on the shoulder. It jumps on contact, looking at him with as much disdain as it can muster.
‘What do you want?’
‘I realised that I have never asked for music recommendations from you.’
V1 looks over its shoulder nervously.
‘Nothing. I listen to… whatever they listen to.’
It’s lying and he knows that, but before he can say anything it signs, ‘Look, it’s been fun. I need to get back, I’ve got all these assignments I need to do—‘
‘Wait,’ says Gabriel, but it is already disassembling its drums, pointedly ignoring him.
It is out of the door in under a minute. Gabriel is left staring after it, its shadow burned into the floor before him.
V2 makes a displeased mechanical noise. ‘It’s burning out. I keep telling it to drop Accounting but does it listen? Of course not.’
‘Huh?’ Mirage sounds alarmed. ‘Has it been neglecting maintenance again?’
‘No, not really. The servos are fine, processor’s okay, but I had to tie it down to look at it last night. It acts like stopping for just a moment is going to kill it.’
I tend to overheat. Gabriel had not thought that a machine could become overworked. V2 cracks her knuckles and turns to him.
‘Heard you’re going to die tomorrow.’
‘What—ah, Sisyphus. No, my strength is renewed and my skills are as sharp as ever. I look forward to a victory.’
‘Face it, you’re going to die,’ says Mirage, crossing her legs. ‘I saw him break someone’s arm with one hand once.’
‘I’ll help you write your will,’ says V2. ‘I’m guessing V1 inherits the strap?’
‘V2!’ exclaims Mirage.
‘I have been wanting to talk about that with you,’ says Gabriel, as Mirage looks both incredulous and confused. ‘Did V1 really borrow it from you?’
‘Well, all you need to know is that it’s clean. But whether or not the strap-on was mine, well, it’s a long story—‘
Gabriel’s phone pings and he almost drops it in his haste to get it out of his pocket. V2 is still talking, yammering on about her curiosity in her youth, botched wiring, and a night of bets and confusion, but Gabriel’s hands tremble as he taps on the notification.
‘What is it?’ Mirage is standing next to him, trying to get a look at his screen.
V2’s voice trails off as she realises the new most interesting thing in the room. She all but dashes over, looking at his phone screen upside-down—
‘Oh my God,’ she says. ‘Is that him? Is that your guy?’
Gabriel nods shakily.
‘He… he’s responded. I—I thought I’d—‘
The moment seems to be frozen in time. Thoughts swirl through his mind, of apologies and partings and a mistake that should be amended. V2 plucks the phone from his grip.
‘It’s encoded. Why is it encoded?’ V2 turns sharply to Gabriel. ‘What does he have to hide?’
‘It doesn’t matter. It—he doesn’t hate me. He doesn’t hate me.’
Mirage squeezes his shoulder gently as he begins to sob.
kingdom come by karmatens is so good man. minos my bbg
read porpentine charity heartscape's Psycho Nymph Exile. good novella. a lot of the trans allegory flew over my head but i really liked the vague dreamlike style. the ebook is like 2 usd go get it