Observation Log: 21/7
Time of entrance: 0100
Tonia tells me that today is his birthday. Not that it makes any difference. He’s solidly ignored me for the past seven months, leaving behind nothing but traces of his destruction in the fabric of dreams. Vast patches of firmament torn away, revealing the burning stars behind them.
I had thought it my own imagination at first, but the night sky is indeed getting darker. On my return to Liyue, I had paid extra attention to the field of astronomy, browsing through research paper after research paper. No matter how deeply entrenched in denial astronomers were, their numbers do not lie. Every month, the number of stars drop little by little as researchers try again and again to find a suitable theory for this phenomenon.
Sometimes when I squint, I can see the faint silhouette of a great beast swimming across the sky, taking one more star away in its already bloating stomach.
I am writing this from the charted part of my dream. Rex Lapis has been considering expanding the charted dream, and most of his time is spent exploring. I have this place to myself now, though I do miss his presence.
Phantoms of that boy still show up near the apartment. He prefers his beast form, limping around on mismatched legs, trying to find a way in. I turn him away every time, though I make sure to give him a mug of tea before that. An attempt to soften his ultimate fate? No matter the reason, he needs something warm every now and then.
Teucer writes to me sometimes, telling me of a white whale that shows up in his dreams and shows him the stars. They come up with names for those stars sometimes as they weave them into long, glowing threads, though he did mention that it was always one-sided conversation. The whale cannot speak, but it listens from the depths, a pale light in the endless dark. Perhaps I will tell Teucer the truth about the threads of stars one day, though Tonia advises against it.
She tells me she’s beginning to understand her older brother more.
Time of departure
I’m seeing something outside the door. The boy is no longer there, though in his place lies a pile of desiccated fins. Right in front of that mess is a torn patch, and through it, the stars.
This is the first time I am seeing him, the great star-beast, ever so graceful as it drags itself onto firmer ground. He does not look back, diving through the firmament once more, splitting the ground before it as its heads back into the sea of stars.
I do not think he remembers me, or much of his past life. After all, I am the one who holds his memories. I have not had the fortitude or the strength to start sifting through them, leaving it as a cold, frozen core sitting in the back of my mind. So, so different from the burning grief that has plagued me my entire life.
He is in no state to give me answers, but I think he has the right to be the first person to unearth his memories. Even if it will do nothing to quell his restlessness, if it even has a chance to grant him closure, I will wait.
Moreover, I do not wish to face the full extent of a human life alone.
And we are done!!! Wanted to get this out here just in case I can never access this site again. Would really appreciate if you hit that kudos button and subscribe! (dies of cringe)
I had a lot of Thoughts in my head while writing this but I can't seem to find any of them now, so if you're curious about the thought process just jog my memory by asking in the comments and I'll do my best to answer.
Currently working on another project though... hem hem ArleFuri...